Disappointments

"Disappointment came to me,
and booted me,
and bruised and hurt me,
but that's how people grow up."
— Morrissey

Why does people keeps on disappointing you. Just when you have thought that you actually knew them already, then suddenly find yourself defenseless with certain surprises and make you realize that you barely know them. Well I guess, it hurts so much because you have put your trust and faith and believe that what you see is what you get. But its not the case. We have to admit that the world isn't really what you thought it would be.. and that thing hurts us so much, so bad.

Disappointments come in many different ways, different stuations.
It can come from families, friends, relationships, work, ambitions, and the most unbelievable truth,..it can come from ourselves. We often times disappoint ourselves. How could we be of defense through all these? We may hear a lot of advices, a lot of moving words of wisdom. But can we really take it all when you are the one to hear them. It's pretty tiring actually. You know you've heard them before and most of them came from you when you are the one who did the advising. You knew it very well then. I don't.

Through all these series of disappointments that had been the trend of my life lately. I have came up with the solution that I'll just let them and made myself not to care so much. This is to say the opposite to my character. I don't brag that i'm so caring because i seem to be snob sometimes. But when i start to care, you will get sick of me. I assure you that. Because, that is me. It's not a surprise that disappointment comes when deeply involved. That is who I am. And it's killing me to do this.

The harder thing to do is to accept the fact that in the process in all of this, you feel that your losing a friend. And that is the situation where I don't wanna be at. You're supposed to gain friends! not lose them. well..

I dunno I just wish that I'm not so caring enough. Making me not to experience this in the first place. I have said this before to particular friends, I don't want to feel desperate. This is the last thing i wanna feel.