A Life full of Happiness

Basically I haven't made any blog for this week so I really feel the need to come up with one. Alright, here it is.

I kinda met this girl, although i havnt had any close circumstance yet ( and im hoping we could have in the nearest future) really. I should say that I'm so at ease when i talk to her, every moment is filled with joy. No dull moment, and the talk is just amazing. I can talk about anything to her, and as far as i can sense it she can too towards me.

What seems to be so great is that we share some characters and upbringings that's why we can relate with each other. She's easy to talk with, sweet and charming.. I'm really overwhelmed with her kindness.

we've been exchanging words for almost a little over a week now. Seriously, i kept all her messages from the very beggining til the end.

I'll name her Happiness. Yeah, that's perfect.since that what she is to me. And that what she makes me feel every second.

life in general as anyone says, is full of it. You just have to appreciate everything around you.
And you need to look closer,.. it might not be the perfect life you picture, but seriously it is. Full of moments filled with happiness.


And one more thing, I love saying that word now.. happiness.. happiness .. *wink*

Hot and Cold

I've never felt so irritated and upset at the same time, oh well not since when i felt this hot and cold treatment. You will never be right or wrong, you wouldn't know the persons moods and swings. You cannot be in right time on how to wear a smile on your face. Or at least pretend that you don't care. I somehow felt that i started this thing but I've never realized how irritating this can be.

There was this one time, that I saw this friend of mine. Let's call this person Red. Red is my person. or i think Red was. What is surprising me is that how I am affected by this set up. As much as I would like not to mind, it is really affecting me. The other thing that is concerning me is that Red is going through a rough time. Really really tough time I would say and it's going to be a while. It's a pretty big dilemma concerning family matters.

Sometimes I would like to ask Red: How are you holding up? But the moment i think of this, the more blurred I can think of how Red is gonna react. Will Red brush me off, or pretend to care? I know how hard it is to be in the exact situation as Red is in right now. But for goodness sake I've been meaning to say. Whatever life put upon you, you have to be strong for your family. You are their only hope. Hold on, everything would be fine. Just don't do inappropriate things that would mess your life. They need you to be strong.

Why are you doing it? Just for fun? or for what? Whatever reason that lead you to do that "Thing with our Friend" I can't understand it. And I don't like it. I know that you're better than that. And you're capable of doing better than that. Just please stop doing it. Please. please.

Let turn these switches off.

Disappointments

"Disappointment came to me,
and booted me,
and bruised and hurt me,
but that's how people grow up."
— Morrissey

Why does people keeps on disappointing you. Just when you have thought that you actually knew them already, then suddenly find yourself defenseless with certain surprises and make you realize that you barely know them. Well I guess, it hurts so much because you have put your trust and faith and believe that what you see is what you get. But its not the case. We have to admit that the world isn't really what you thought it would be.. and that thing hurts us so much, so bad.

Disappointments come in many different ways, different stuations.
It can come from families, friends, relationships, work, ambitions, and the most unbelievable truth,..it can come from ourselves. We often times disappoint ourselves. How could we be of defense through all these? We may hear a lot of advices, a lot of moving words of wisdom. But can we really take it all when you are the one to hear them. It's pretty tiring actually. You know you've heard them before and most of them came from you when you are the one who did the advising. You knew it very well then. I don't.

Through all these series of disappointments that had been the trend of my life lately. I have came up with the solution that I'll just let them and made myself not to care so much. This is to say the opposite to my character. I don't brag that i'm so caring because i seem to be snob sometimes. But when i start to care, you will get sick of me. I assure you that. Because, that is me. It's not a surprise that disappointment comes when deeply involved. That is who I am. And it's killing me to do this.

The harder thing to do is to accept the fact that in the process in all of this, you feel that your losing a friend. And that is the situation where I don't wanna be at. You're supposed to gain friends! not lose them. well..

I dunno I just wish that I'm not so caring enough. Making me not to experience this in the first place. I have said this before to particular friends, I don't want to feel desperate. This is the last thing i wanna feel.