Hot and Cold

I've never felt so irritated and upset at the same time, oh well not since when i felt this hot and cold treatment. You will never be right or wrong, you wouldn't know the persons moods and swings. You cannot be in right time on how to wear a smile on your face. Or at least pretend that you don't care. I somehow felt that i started this thing but I've never realized how irritating this can be.

There was this one time, that I saw this friend of mine. Let's call this person Red. Red is my person. or i think Red was. What is surprising me is that how I am affected by this set up. As much as I would like not to mind, it is really affecting me. The other thing that is concerning me is that Red is going through a rough time. Really really tough time I would say and it's going to be a while. It's a pretty big dilemma concerning family matters.

Sometimes I would like to ask Red: How are you holding up? But the moment i think of this, the more blurred I can think of how Red is gonna react. Will Red brush me off, or pretend to care? I know how hard it is to be in the exact situation as Red is in right now. But for goodness sake I've been meaning to say. Whatever life put upon you, you have to be strong for your family. You are their only hope. Hold on, everything would be fine. Just don't do inappropriate things that would mess your life. They need you to be strong.

Why are you doing it? Just for fun? or for what? Whatever reason that lead you to do that "Thing with our Friend" I can't understand it. And I don't like it. I know that you're better than that. And you're capable of doing better than that. Just please stop doing it. Please. please.

Let turn these switches off.